Today is Sunday. A new week is here. A new chance. I've been thinking a lot about my life now... Not that I want to be negative. I'm tired of being negative. But I want to explain what it is like to be me. People see me and don't see that I dizzy. They don't see that there is anything wrong with me. I can walk. So when you see the walker, a person that is so young (yep that's me, young) with a walker, it has to be weird. Why would I need a walker? Well, because I need something stable to hold onto. Something that I can predict here it will be. Holding onto people works but is not as good as something that I control. Especially when I go outside. Outside I lose my vertical reference. I don't have anything above me to tell me where things stop. Something simple like that is really important. More than I knew, but boy I know now.
When I'm indoors I can "cheat" I touch things. furniture, walls, etc. I touch them with the back of my legs, and I casually leaning on thing. I can do it without people noticing. Sometimes I don't even notice. It's just something I do. I have to, that way I know where I am in a room compared to everything else. That's the problem, I can't tell where I am in space. (sort of, It's hard to explain.)
Then there are the migraines... that's another problem all on it's own. I have a wonderful Neurologist. He has me on some medicine that has made a HUGE difference. I used to have a headache that would last for 4-5 days. Now I can take medicine when I first feel them and usually stop them before they really get going good. YIPPEE!!!! On those occasions when I don't get them stopped. I have hope. Dr. Ales is still here and ready to help.
I feel stupid when I get those stare from people who are probably thinking. "What can possibly be wrong with her?" It does help right now that I have a boot on my foot. But that's only temporary. I don't stumble and fall enough for everyone to see. :0) I've been stared at my whole life... no biggie. That's one thing being a twin has taught me not to care about. For once in my life I would like to know what it is like to be normal. But I guess normal is over-rated. That's not the life I was dealt.
A new day... still being the only person I know how to be. I'm still dizzy, but hopeful that we will get to move this week. Broken foot and all. My kidney infection doesn't seem to be any better... I'll go back to the doctor tomorrow. That's not fun. But that's the plan.